Rechavia Berman – GangstaYid

Welcome, one and all, step aboard upon the magic carpet, taking you on a fascinating journey to the land of the untenable. Today on the menu we have a pot calling a kettle black, pigs being pigs, a Jehovah patient coming home to roost, a superpower doubling down on a losing investment, a deluded liar being stupider than usual, a laughably obvious pinkwashing attempt, a minor environmental disaster that happened and a major one waiting to. Buckle up your seatbelts and for heaven’s sake, put out your cigarettes, for reasons of clear and present danger.

We start today with Yair Netanyahu, the eldest son of our PM, Binyamin Netanyahu, aka “Nutanyahoo” and “The Baron von Bibhausen”. Turns out that Junior (who is currently serving in the IDF spokesman’s international media division, where he enjoys an unusual amount of leave) has a Facebook account, where he unburdens himself of highly nuanced political opinions couched in elegant and erudite prose (yes, that was sarcasm).

All of Nutanyahoo Junior’s deep thoughts (written under the aliases “Jesse Natan” and “Yair Natan”) have been taken down following the discovery of his page, but here’s what we know:

2.5 years ago, an Arab driver in the mixed city of Acco (Acre of Crusader fame to y’all) took a wrong turn and entered a Jewish neighborhood. Sadly for him, this happened on Yom Kippur, the holiest day to Jews and the single day in the year when even secular Israeli Jews don’t drive (it’s known to the kids as “the bicycle holiday”, due to the streets being motor-free). Anyway, the Arab driver was lynched within an inch of his life and some of the city’s Jews rioted for two days, burning Arabs’ cars and shit.

Following this, the apple of our PM’s eye started a facebook group called “Following the Acre Pogrom – I too am boycotting Arab businesses!”. Where to start? With the victim-at-all-costs use of “pogrom” for an incident where all the bodily harm and property damage happened to Arabs by Jews? The notion of boycotting a population of over a million because of something one person did and not even on purpose? Or the fact that he ended his screed with “besides, I was boycotting those shits even before”?

Another noteworthy gem is to be found in an argument with a Muslim woman, in which Nutanyahoo the younger – the grandson of a highly acclaimed historian – trots out the stupid trope that “The Palestinians are Arab settlers in the middle of our country, who immigrated here from Arab countries only 100 years ago!”. Other gems include the inaccurate statement that “all terrorists are Muslims” and the breath-taking lie that “when we accidently kill a child in Gaza the whole country mourns for the enemy’s child!” (I guess Junior doesn’t read much talkbacks on all of Israel’s news sites, where such incidents are routinely justified and celebrated with defiance). Another post reads “staying (at the base) for the weekend because of the cursed Palestinians”.

The one about the Palestinians being recent immigrants needs answering, since it’s a favorite lie of judonazis and their abbettors, popularized by the ignorant and mendacious Joan Peters. Facts: The absolute lowest estimate for the Arab population of Palestine 100 years ago is around 500,000 people. The absolute highest, most generous estimate of the Jewish population here at the same time is 60,000 people. By 1948, there were 1.2 million Arabs and 600,000 Jews here – a 140% increase for Arabs and a 900% percent increase for Jews. I think it’s clear who the immigrants are and who are the ones who have been here continuously for hundreds of years. I do not see this as an argument against my right and that of my people to be here, but the facts are what they are.

Anyway, the reason I am spending time on the ignorant and ineloquent rantings of a teenager is that if the reverse was written by the son of Abu Mazen? This would be front page news and Nutanyahoo Senior would NEVER shut up about how the Palestinians simply MUST stop teaching their children to hate us if there’s ever going to be any peace. Therefore, I think it’s relevant to wonder about the hatred his son sucks with his mother’s milk. So Bibster, take the beam from thine own damn eye and have a nice big cup of STFU.

 

On Friday, the estimated 35,000 refugees* from Africa living in Israel were supposed to have a rare moment of grace with a lively music/arts and crafts festival marking International Refugee Day. However, on Thursday the jack booted thuggery known as the Israel PD reneged on previous agreements and came up with impossible and unlawful “security” requirements that were obviously meant to cancel the event. To remove any doubt, the pigs offered the refugees and their activist allies to hold an “event” at the tiny park known as Lewinski Garden**, but only if it was limited to 1,000 people, with no stage, PA system, speakers or music. Earlier this week, two corporate entities staged a music concert at the same venue (with a stage and PA system) attended by 3,000 people.

Ironically, this year’s Refugee Day marks the 60th anniversary of the UN Convention on the Rights of Refugees, of which the infant State of Israel was one of the main sponsors. Now Israel hounds its refugees, locks them up, sends them back to harm’s way and won’t even let them dance in the sun one day a year. Fuck Tha Po-lice.

* The 35,000 number is those eligible for refugee status according to every relevant agency and international standard. Israel itself, in all its history, has granted refugee asylum status to a grand total of 200 people. “Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the land of Egypt,” anyone?

** no, not named after THAT Lewinsky, you perverts…

 

Anyone who thought that under the Obama administration the US would be any less in the pocket of Israel should check this out. US Ambassador to the UN, the righteous-fronting Susan Rice, spoke somewhere (not sure where, since the video was taken down, wonder why) and said that if the UN recognizes Palestinian statehood at the assembly general (where unlike the security council, the new Rome has no veto power): “this would be exceedingly politically damaging in our domestic context, as you can well imagine. And I cannot frankly think of a greater threat to our ability to maintain financial and political support for the United Nations in congress than such an outcome.” So depsite administrations of both parties professing to support the creation of a Palestinian state, the US would be so offended by the UN doing just that, that it would not be able to continue funding or participating in the organization. Gotcha, Ambassador.

This attitude becomes more understandable when one realizes that the US regards Israel as not merely an ally, but an extension of itself. Did you know that anyone contemplating an attack on your home anywhere in the world, they can use Google Earth to see your house down to the windows and the shape of the cornices? Well of course you knew that, but I meant to say “anywhere but Israel”. The 2007 National Security Authorization Act includes an amendment, known as the Kyl-Bingaman, which explicitly prohibits the collection and distribution of high-resolution images from Israel. When my Palestinian tweet-buddies began passing this tidbit along, I said “what ARE you talking about? I’ve seen my house here in Israel on Google Earth.” But then I realized what the point was and compared the resolutions, and whaddaya know.

2100 years ago, another super-power used its military might to guarantee the interests of a Jewish state. It threatened any would-be invaders not to even think of it, forbade them from trying to evade its customs, and the Hasmonean Kingdom enjoyed the fruits of this deferred check. Eventually, though, Rome collected. Just a lil’ something to ponder. (for more highly relevant historical parallels, or rhymes as Mark Twain would have it, buy my book “Jewcy Story, Volume 1: The unofficial, unorthodox, unabashed story of an unusual tribe” and get 500 years of Jewish history for only $5. And remember – Kindle works on smartphones and PC’s as well!).

 

Interior Minister Eli Yishai (Shas) is trying to pull a fast one. In 2002, the Supreme Court ordered him to register Conservative and Reform converts under “Nationality: Jewish” in their ID cards. Yishai, who as an Orthodox Jew is loathe to do anything that would remotely acknowledge the conversions sanctioned by rival denominations, simply canceled the “nationality” category (but retained a way of distinguishing Jewish citizens from uncircumsized dogs by marking the Jews with a Hebrew date of birth). Now, says Yishai, poor holocaust survivors who for whatever reason need to be re-issued an ID card are complaining bitterly about not being marked as Jews, so he’s putting the category back – but only for those who want it. So the ID card, whose sole supposed purpose is to distinguish citizens from non-citizens, not only continues to distinguish between different classes of citizens, but is now to become an “as you like it” rag.

Yishai, btw, has bigger worries. Legendary former Shas leader Aryeh Deri is making a comeback to politics, and may be eyeing a return to the top spot in his old home. I’m not sure what’s worse for Yishai – to be ousted from the driver’s seat by his old nemesis, or for Deri to form his own party (which unlike Shas promises to be more moderate and peace-oriented) and get more seats than Shas in the next election as a poll published this weekend predicts.

 

Bibi has decided to “get tough” with Hamas over the stalled negotiations for a prisoner swap to bring Gilad Shalit home. Said toughness involves reducing the amenities enjoyed by the thousands of Hamas prisoners in Israel – stuff like being able to complete university degrees by correspondence and such. I can just see Ahmad Jaabari and Muhammad Dif, leaders of the Hamas military wing: “Oh no, brother Mustafa won’t be able to get his B.A.! And they won’t let him play ping-pong! Nothing to be done, gotta let Shalit go….”

The truth is that the leadership of Hamas, particularly the military wing and the political leadership in Damascus, who control the fate of Shalit, don’t really give a rat’s ass about the suffering of their people, or about 1,000 families who could have had their loved ones back many months ago. And for whatever reason (I don’t believe it’s the threat of the German mediator to quit), Nutanyahoo isn’t doing the obvious and publishing the names of those whom Israel has agreed to release, so their (extended) families would know what’s at stake.

Speaking of the scum that is Hamas, it is hilarious to hear them greet Netanyahu’s announcement that he will toughen the incarcerations of their prisoners with screams of “violation of international law!!!”. This from an organization that has been keeping a POW underground without even visits by the Red Cross for 5 years.

 

Israel’s propaganda machine, known as “Hasbara” (a Hebrew word meaning “explaining” that has become a derisive derogatory), has pulled an especially lame one. They released a video, showing a person calling himself “Mark”, who claimed he was not allowed to join the new Gaza flotilla due to being gay. The vid was suspicious from the get-go, since the person who posted it had zero documented online activity prior to doing so. Ali Abu-Nimah and his crew at The Electronic Intifada did some sleuthing (fresh off their success in unmasking the vile Tom MacMaster, aka “Amina, the Gay Girl in Damascus”), found that the vid was posted from an IP at the Israeli PM’s office, and then discovered that “Mark” is actually an Israeli club promoter named Omer Gershon. This is what they call “Pinkwashing”, and much as I am proud that gays aren’t treated as poorly here as they are virtually everywhere else in the Middle East (although things are far from perfect), this is pathetic.

 

A couple of Israelis were arrested and convicted in Poland of stealing “mementos” from Auschwitz. Curiously, not only were they let off with a fine and a suspended sentence, but their names were withheld – not just here in Israel but in the Polish press as well. Gotta wonder if Israel’s Foreign Ministry went to bat for them. If so, that is totally wrong. It should be in Israel’s interest that ANYONE desecrating Auschwitz be punished harshly, Israeli or not.

 

Speaking of the Foreign Ministry – a couple of fascist Knesset members put a bill forward that would tax foreign donations for “left wing” NGO’s at 45%. Of course they didn’t really mean it to pass since you can’t specify that only left wing orgs get taxed and the Judonazi orgs would starve without fundie and Brooklyn Hassidic money. However, they met with an unexpected objection from the Foreign Ministry, which explained that such a law would only further the criticism of Israel’s fading democracy.

 

I almost forgot – read this for a view on some of the least publicized crimes of the occupation, in the Jordan Valley which a shocking 63% of Israelis seem to think is under Israeli sovereignty (it isn’t. It’s as illegally occupied as Nablus).

 

Finally, in another chapter of “Israel and its catastrophic infrastructure”, the world-famous coral reef preserve of Eilat is in danger to a crude oil spill of 1-2 tons. The perpetrators are yet to be identified, much less apprehended. Our EPA claims that cleanup is progressing successfully and that by tomorrow the waters will be clean – which I find suspiciously optimistic, and even so no-one knows what the irreversible damage to the reef will be.

That has already happened. What hasn’t yet is an immense explosion at the Kiryat Atta “gas farm” just north of Haifa, which unlawfully holds many thousands of cooking gas containers above ground, rather than in re-inforced underground pens as required. Next time there’s a war with Hizballah, if those fucks get lucky enough, they’ll hit that and tens of thousands will lose their homes and lives. So it goes in the land of the half-assed “it’ll be ok” mentality.

 

That’ll do it for this week. WHU Airlines is not responsible for any illusions, sympathies or misconceptions that may have been misplaced on our tours. Please collect your senses and check your comments* (and donations, if you’ve a mind) where appropriate. Thank you for flying the crazy skies.

 

* Please do comment. I write for feedback. Thanks!