Rechavia Berman – GangstaYid

Posts Tagged ‘IDF

Welcome back to the Weekend Holyland Update, where we’re all about the upcomin’ Israeli e-lections number five, brought to you live and with plenty of drive from the southeastern melting pot of Tel Aviv. Today we have new revelations in the Famiglia Netanyahu’s bottomless, shameless greed, a joining of forces on the moderate right, mealymouthed whining on the left, and an empty suit in the middle, trying to grow into the position he has been methodically angling to achieve for a decade.

More of a kickin’ sitchy-ation

Starting with the most election-y news, remember how there used to be a bunch of parties bringing up the rear in the polls with the bare minimum of four seats? Well, as of this past weekend there is one fewer. “New Hope” headed by Justice Minister Gideon Sa’ar (6 seats in the outgoing Knesset, 4 in recent polls), and “Blue and White” headed by Defense Minister Benny Gantz (8 seats in the outgoing, about the same in the current polls) have announced that they will be merging and running as a bloc, and explicitly declared Benny Gantz a candidate for Prime Minister. This would justify a raised eyebrow or two, what with the new party having only 14 seats in the outgoing, 3 behind PM Lapid’s Yesh Atid and 16 behind Likud (with the gap even larger in current polls). But after a year under a PM with only 6 fractious seats behind him, it sounds less outlandish. Oh, and interestingly – the new bloc did NOT vow not to sit with Netanyahu, unlike each of the constituent parties’ commitments before the last round.

What was immediately clear to me is that is that this union puts whatever is left of Yamina – outgoing PM Naftali Bennett’s party (which will be led by Interior Minister Ayelet Shaked and not Bennett, since he decided to sit this one out) – in a pretty rough spot. Let’s break the map of the Israeli right-wing down:

On the extreme right you have Religious Zionism (i.e. the Judo-Nazis), led by settlers Bezalel Smotrich (who hoarded over 150 gallons of gasoline to resist the 2005 disengagement from Gaza, but wisely chickened out of using them) and Itamar Ben Gvir (a senior Kahanist** who headed the violent hounding of murdered PM Rabin, once ripping the hood ornament from his car and boasting on national TV that “just as we got to the hood ornament, we can get to Rabin”). Yamina, whether under Bennett (a religious-lite person) or Shaked (secular) is on the complete opposite end of the right-wing spectrum, representing moderates, both religious and secular, not dyed-in-the-wool Nazis. So unless a body was severely radicalized over a year, they ain’t gonna jump ship straight from Yamina to the Nazis, nor vice-versa unless they were suddenly cured of the Nazi disease.

So what remains on the right is of course the mothership of Likud, the two Ultra-Orthodox parties (whose electorates, like that of the Nazis, are mutually exclusive with Yamina), and finally the two that just declared a joint run – whose electorates ARE fungible with that of Yamina.

So Ms. Shaked has to offer right-wing voters, who are relatively moderate and fed-up with Bibi’s corruption and Likud’s gutter populism, something that a much surer bet isn’t. Now that the new bloc refrained from declaring allegiance to the principle of “Never Bibi” – even the ones who want “Soft right that will likely sit with Netanyahu if that’s the coalition to be made” have a better option. While Education Minister Yifat Shasha-Biton (of the larger Blue and White part of the merger) has declared that the unified list won’t sit with Netanyahu – she ain’t calling the shots, so that’s of limited import.

What is of some horse-race import is that the post-merger polls are in, and while the new merger gets a modest bump over its combined strength in prior polls, and so does Yesh Atid, it does not look good for Bibi – and it looks really bad for Ayelet Shaked and Yamina.

(Previous in parentheses) Likud 34 (34), Yesh Atid (Lapid) 23 (21) the new merged Blue-and-White-New-Hope 14 (12 combined), Judo-Nazis 10 (10), Sephardic Ultra-Orthodox 8 (8), Ashkenazi UO 7 (7), Joint List (most Arab parties, running together as a bloc) 6 (6), Israel Beiteinu (mostly older Russian-speakers and fools who like a corrupt “strongman”) 5 (5), Labor 5 (5), United Arab List (Moderate Islamists, were in the “change coalition”) 4 (4), Meretz 4 (4). Missing cause they ain’t make the cut in the new landscape: Shaked’s Yamina, polling at around 2% (out of the required 3.5% threshold.)

Blocs according to this poll and basically all post-merger polls: Bibi’s bloc: 59. Anyone-but-Bibi Bloc: 55. Holding the key for the latter: the Joint List with 6.

Now, there’s a supposed heavyweight free-agent left unsigned in the market. And you’ll never believe it, not in a million years – It’s a general! A Former IDF Chief of Staff! Ainchy’all shocked, now? Tell the truth.

Meet the new savior. Same as the old one.

The new savior, courted by both the new merged party and Lapid’s Yesh Atid, is the umpteenth iteration of the “level-headed and devoted to the public good,” steely-eyed but warm-hearted*** military man. This one’s name is Gadi Eisenkot, predecessor to the current occupation-thug-in-chief. According to the polls, he’ll add around two seats to whoever he joins. According to one poll, if he joins the new merger under his own predecessor in the army, Benny Gantz, he’ll add a whopping three seats, and – this is the important part – one of them at the direct expense of the Likud bloc.

In other electoral news, Health Minister Nitzan Horowitz has announced that he will not run to lead Meretz again (though he will likely run for a spot in the party’s list for Knesset.) This leaves MK Yair Golan, a former IDF General, as the only current contestant for the job, after former leader and Environmental Protection Minister Tamar Zandberg also said she won’t be running for the top spot this time. Golan is uniformly detested by much of the party’s base, not just for being former IDF, but for being a bumbling he-man ass who is totally out of step with the party’s sensibilities and positions on most issues.

Example? Why, he just provided one this week, and it’s a beaut. “I think being called a “lefty” (“smolan” from the Hebrew “smol” – left) is a slur. It’s like being called a n—-r.” (yes, dumbfuck said that. I know. I just don’t have enough melanin to properly give this man the side-eye that conveys “boy, if you don’t sit yo ass down and stfu…” and actually makes him do it.)

The only reason he was elected on the party’s ticket is another pathetic attempt to shore up security cred for a party that will NEVER have enough of that to people who fret about it. His only saving grace is that he’s willing to brawl with the right and punch them in the mouth – but in the name of what? Shame in being a lefty? Say it loud, boy – I’m left and I’m proud. Of course, these episodes only serve to whip up victimization frenzy on the right. “Didja hear what that white privileged lefty sombitch saaaaaiiiiiid????!!!!!!”

Way I read it, unless a REAL lefty shows up and sweeps the Meretz party faithful up in a whirlwind of conviction and enthusiasm, the only prayer Meretz has with General Golan as a standard-bearer is to join forces with Labor, as it did in round 3 of this prolonged paralysis. Problem is that previous merger yielded disappointing returns and Labor, currently sitting “pretty” at 6, so not actually on the precipice of electoral doom, ain’t eager for the match. “Been there, done that, even the t-shirt sucked” is the vibe coming from the sad vestiges of the party that built this country.

I know, the subtitle promises juicy corruption stuff – not to mention promising a Weekend Holyland Update – but life itself and a summer bug (which hatched for a week, just making me cranky and low energy, before erupting ferrealz with the sniffles and fever ‘n shit) have conspired to delay. Which is good cause that way we got the post-merger polls in time, and Horowitz’s resignation, and…. So lemme post this for the horserace followers, and then I’ll do a part 2 about the defendant’s trial and other stuff, including Joey’s Needless Holyland Adventure. Thank you for flying the Gangsta skies.

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*(marble-jawed, blue-eyed former IDF Chief, and perfect illustration of the old saying – tie a donkey to the “shin-gimel” (the guard post at the gate of a military base) and he’ll make Colonel eventually. So he stayed even longer and made alla way it to the top. Still unimpressive as a pile of warm shit.

** Meir Kahane was the original Judo-Nazi, running for Knesset in the 1980s on a platform of proposed legislation that is 1:1 the Nazi Nuremberg Laws, with just the identity of the master race changed. He was eventually banned from running for overt racism. Ben-Gvir is a long-time disciple of that scumfuck rat. How come he’s allowed to run, then? Cause people are crazy and times are strange.

*** Said donkey from footnote 1 is a bit deficient in the projecting of warmth department, so the role needs to be split.

The #2 chaplain in the IDF, who is in charge of all religious education to soldiers, answers a religious law question and comes out flatly for the right of a Jewish soldier to rape a foreign captive

 

You know how old things crop up on the Internet? Well, today something floated to the surface on the Hebrew portion of the net that may hound Israel and the IDF for years to come – if both institutions even have many years left to them.

But doomsaying aside, the public and straightforward halachic opinion issued by Colonel and  Rabbi Eyal Krim, the number two man at the IDF’s Military Rabbinate, back in the bloody days of the Second Intifada and “Operation Defensive Shield” (2002), is sure to create a storm. How big a storm will provide indications both of the current state of Israeli society at large, and of the degree to which the foreign press pays attention and gets the point.

The halachic issue in question is one known in Judaism as that of the “Pretty Woman”. The dilemma here is not whether it’s OK to fall in love with a prostitute as cute as Julia Roberts whom you hired as eye candy for a party, but something far darker.

A translation of the question (politely stated, with the tell-tale religious acronym for “with heaven’s help” at the top) and the answer by Colonel Krim, follows in full (Hebrew original here):

 

Question:

I have read on this site about [the halachic issue of] a pretty captive woman, and the relevant portions from the Torah, yet I am left with a question:

In various wars among the nations, such as World War 1, various nations fought amongst themselves, without any of them being particularly “good” or “bad” for the Jews…

But if an army were to conquer a village and rape Jewish girls there, it would have been justly considered as a disaster and a tragedy to the girl and her family.

Therefore, rape during time of war is considered heinous. So how is it that I have been told by a rabbi that “a pretty woman” is permitted, according to some rabbis, even before the process laid out in the Torah? Meaning he may first give in to his urges and lay with her, and only then take her to his home? And so on.

This seems like a contradiction. After all, if the rape of civilians during war is considered to be awful and forbidden, why should Jews supposedly be allowed?

Are IDF soldiers in our time, for example, allowed to rape girls during warfare, or is this forbidden?

Thank you.

.

Answer:

The wars of Israel – both the Mitzvah wars and the wars of choice – are Mitzvah wars. This is how they differ from the wars that take place amongst the nations of the world, between themselves.

Since war in essence is not a matter for the individual but nations war as wholes, there are situations in which the personality of the individual is “erased” for the greater good. And vice versa – at times we may endanger an entire unit to save an individual when this is required for morale.

One of the vital and crucial elements in war is to maintain the army’s fighting capacity. Thus, he who is afraid and faint of heart returns behind the war, so as not to soften the hearts of his brethren, and the emotions and needs of the individual are pushed to the side in favor of national success at war.

Just as during war the boundaries of risking oneself for others are pushed, so are the boundaries of chastity and kosher diet. Foreign wine prohibited during times of peace has been allowed at time of war to maintain the high spirits of the fighters. Prohibited foods have been allowed during wartime (according to some authorities even when there is kosher food available) in order to maintain the fighters’ fitness, although at peacetime they are disallowed.

Thus war also takes precedence over some coital laws. Although having relations with a gentile woman is a very grave act, it was permitted during wartime (under the conditions it was permitted) due to consideration of the difficulties of the fighting men, and since the success of the collective is our main object, the Torah has allowed to indulge the evil urge under the conditions specified, for the success of the collective.

 

Shalom

Eyal Krim

.

As we Yids say: Oy. I mean, where to start? With the Bronze-Age morality that sees war as a state that suspends all regular notions of justice and decency? To be fair, for that era that was advanced morality. Nobody else prohibited any treatment of war captives at all. Woe to the vanquished was the universal standard, and conquering kings gloried in the trampling of their enemies and rape of their women. The Torah said that even in war actions have consequences, and equaled the penalty of rape at war with that of rape of your neighbors daughter: You had to marry her, and you even had to give her a fortnight month to grieve for her lost family. But what was morally progressive back then is now what we godless buzzkills like to refer to as a war crime. Practiced on a wide enough scale, it can even make crime against humanity.

However, lots of blood has flown out of bodies and been buried in the mud over the millenia since, and at a slower pace, even broadly accepted standards of minimal mandatory morality have risen. Even at war. The entire aftermath and results of WW2, which incidentally featured the greatest slaughter of Jews in history, were a rejection of that notion, which was heartily embraced by the vanquished side in that conflict. If there was supposed to be one group of people that was unanimously, unequivocally against the German variety of the ultra-nationalist plague and all it stood for, it should surely have been the Jews. Or at least so one would think.

Need we go on? Krim is clearly more troubled by the act of having sex of any kind with a goya than by the notion of raping one. Then again, he is only following the inflexible logic of his creed. That IS what the Torah says. The rape is sometimes condoned but consensual relations with a heathen vagina never is.

That such views exist is not surprising. That such views are held by a high ranking military officer, one whose job is to oversee the religious indoctrination forced upon soldiers who come into combat situations in urban areas more than any other in the world, is alarming to say the least, and should lead to deep reflection on the part of Israelis who care in any way about their people’s religion.

Oh, the official response? Glad you asked. When acclaimed blogger (and personal friend, full disclosure) Yossi Gurvitz wrote to IDF Spokesperson’s “New Media” unit to ask whether these statements were consistent with IDF position, and if not what will be done regarding Krim, and how the IDF plans to deal with the possible blowback from this new revelation, he was told that his questions reflected a disrespect both towards the IDF and the Jewish religion, and that therefore the Spokesperson Unit will no longer be replying to his queries on any matter. So there.

In the 19th century, Judaism was faced for the first time in many centuries with a fundamental schism, as educated Jews who had taken advantage of emancipation laws sought to reconcile the good in Judaism with the universal values of the Enlightenment. From this drive were born the two main branches of world Judaism today: Conservative and Reform. The main difference between the two is that Conservative Judaism accepts the overall authority of the Halacha – that 1800 year-old corpus of religious law expounding on the words of the five books of Moses – while giving itself more freedom to tinker with it than is accepted in the Orthodox world. Reform Judaism, on the other hand, allows itself to simply disregard certain portions of halacha that it finds either irrelevant in the face of modern technology or outdated in the face or modern moral views.

One would think that Reform Judaism would be the natural fit for Israeli progressives. But neither Conservative nor Reform Judaism ever made even the smallest recognizable advance within any segment of Israeli society. They have always existed on the margins, discriminated against in the disbursement of religious-affairs budgets, and devoid of any political clout whatsoever (save that which the anti-clerical left was willing to throw them in order to score hits on the religious parties). Even leftists, who often say they yearn for a “humane” Judaism, don’t throng to the two main alternatives. A young Israeli humanist seeking spiritual food is far more likely to either embrace oriental philosophies or to “see the light” and realize why a creed that grants him special and irrevocable privileges is in fact the one true truth.

This is easily understandable. Both reformation movements are uniquely exile-oriented and were designed explicitly to enable Jews to integrate in societies in which they were not the majority and did not call the shots.

However, the rightward messianic and/or fundamentalist drifts of virtually all parts of Orthodox Judaism in Israel means that anyone who cares about the perpetuation of Israeli Judaism, as a faith that can be professed without being automatically suspect by any right-minded person in the world, must create the grounds for the rise of a Judaism that can maintain a by-and-large consistency with basic modern notions of human rights – even if that means devising a whole new form of Judaism, which while speaking of and to the Jew living on his ancestral land and constituting a majority, is still at least as enlightened as the best of “the nations”. Leaving the definition of free, homegrown Judaism to these retrograde troglodytes will lead to Judaism everywhere being viewed on a level akin to that of the Westboro Baptist Church or the Lord’s Resistance Army.

P.S. Yes, I totally ignored the wonderful people of Shomrei Mishpat – Rabbis For Human Rights, who with precious few numbers do great deeds to restore honor and humanity to the name of Judaism. However, those rabbis are mostly Conservative and Reform, and in any event the humanist version of Judaism has been tested at the ballot box more than once over the past two decades. It never managed to get elected to Knesset on its own.

We are defending our very existence; There must have been very good security reasons; She’s a clear and present danger – but I don’t have to prove it in any way; All they want is to kill us; We have no choice

The excuses of occupation, supremacism and herd mentality never change much, nor have they in this particularly disgusting week in the JEWISH state of Israel.

In the West Bank village of Nabi Saleh, protests continued unabated against the 2009 theft of the village’s spring, Ein al-Salih, despite the IDF – which abetted said theft by the settlers of Halamish – incessant attempts to intimidate them into just accepting their fate as the Chosen People’s punching bag.

Last night, Friday, marked the first time in over two weeks that the village wasn’t raided well past midnight by the IDF thugs. For 15 straight days the IDF’s brave, moral troops invaded this village every single night, waking up families, tossing their homes, and often confiscating stuff (computers and personal papers) without a warrant or without providing a receipt for the items seized. Seeing as following the Marmara incident several (brave and moral) IDF soldiers were caught looting computers, cell phones and credit cards belonging to the ship’s passengers, one can understand how the lack of a clear signed record of what was taken is cause for concern.

But the abuse doesn’t end here. I already told you last week what happened to Anan Naji al-Tamimi, and this week we got footage of the apparent theft of laptops at the home of one of the Palestinian Gandhis, Bassem Tamimi, who is currently held without charge, trial, or regular access to counsel because Israel can’t deal with his skill at organizing non-violent demonstrations. Ain’t many folks in Nabi Saleh that can get the teenagers to bottle their righteous anger and refrain from showing the invading thugs any physical defiance, thus making the army thugs show what thugs they truly are without even the excuse of kids throwing rocks.

When someone loses patience with this arrogant behavior and arranges a meeting between something heavy and hard and a ransacking IDF thug’s face, the wail will rise instantly: THEY HATE US JUST FOR BEING JEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS.

Also from the occupied territories this week: The advent of using attack dogs against unarmed protesters, and finally this gutsy kid, who sent a kangaroo military court “judge” into a tantrum by telling him he doesn’t recognize his authority. The judge left the courtroom in a huff, warning the kid he’d screw him at sentencing. Big man, no? Most moral army.

Another lovely story from the Only Democracy this week: About 300 “fans” of the racist football club Beitar Jerusalem, following a victory by their crappy team, swarmed into the Malha shopping mall adjacent to their home field, and proceeded to beat the living crap out of about 10 Palestinian sanitation workers, yelling “Death to Arabs” and so on.

The pogromchiks quickly overwhelmed the mall security, and even the cops who were called to the scene required long minutes before they restored order and stopped the lynching.

Another lovely aspect of this little story is that while it happened last Monday, it was reported precisely nowhere in the Israeli media until Friday, and then only at Haaretz. You know how hasbara parrots love to talk about Israel’s vaunted free press? Bring this one up next time they try it. See what they have to say.

 

And get this: Despite the fact that the blue porkers were undeniably on the scene, they did not detain a single person for questioning. When asked why that is, a pigsty spokesperson replied that “no arrest or investigation took place because no complaint was filed.”

As my boy Bobby would say, bury the rag deep in your face – NOW is the time for your tears.

For one thing, of course, nowhere in world does a cop need a complaint to make an arrest or at least detain someone for questioning when the crime happens in front of their pink squashed snouts.

For another, though, and this naturally caught my eye, the claim that arrests and indictments can’t be made absent a victim’s complaint is false. I myself was convicted of “threats” against Knesset Member Aryeh Eldad (over a blog post, not heavy breathing on the phone…), who did not file a complaint with the police and whom we were not allowed to summon as a witness.

Jerusalem District PD Chief Nisso Shaham is proving that the Kahanists managed to get to him. Said high-ranking porker was marked as an enemy of the Jehovah-nazis when, during the disengagement from the Gaza Strip he was recorded saying “shit on them” regarding the militant settlers and their threats of violent resistance.

When he was appointed Chief of the J-M district, some had naively hoped that a new era had begun for a force that had been accurately dubbed “Kahane’s Police” by songwriter Chaim Cheffer back in the 80′s and hasn’t gotten a damn bit better since. The Judonazis of course raised a big ole wail when he was appointed, but as I say some had hoped Shaham was exactly the sort of guy to blow off their hostility and do his motherfucking job. Did I mention the word Naive?

So now Nisso is cowering from the feared wrath of the racist scum that populate Teddy Stadium’s east-side bleachers, and walking around the streets of Jerusalem with Satan’s spunk dripping from his rectal orifice.

And with that Santorum-like image, we shall now return you to your points of origin, which should be looking really good in comparison right about now or you should be looking deeply into relocation. The Weekend Holyland Update is not responsible for any misconceptions, sympathies or illusions that may have been misplaced on our tours. This tour has been brought to you free of charge courtesy of the pilot’s graphomanic disorder and high-horse syndrome, but feel free to avail yourselves of the “Donate” button over there. Also, you can buy my book, “Jewcy Story: How the Jews blew redemption the last time around” and get 500 fascinating years of Jewish history for the bargain price of $3.

 

P.S. The bit about “She’s a clear and present danger” refers to Hana Shalabi, a Palestinian woman who is currently on her 38th day of hunger strike, in protest of her administrative detention. Israel apparently doesn’t feel it has a case it can actually convict her with even in a kangaroo military court.  Be that as it may, it is really chilling to think that these people, who run our lives and an entire nuclear state,  really wish after narrowly dodging the bullet with Khader Adnan, to wind up with a FEMALE martyr who isn’t the self-admitted spokesperson of a terrorist organization. Israel’s only luck with the Adnan affair was that he sucked as a symbol (what with being a bigshot in a sick demented fanatic group). A young woman, pretty enough even with a headscarf, who isn’t self evidently guilty of at least membership in a banned org and who only demanded the simple right of her day in court and to confront her accusers and their claims? That shit will sell like hotcakes. Makes you wonder if the powers that be don’t actually WANT more Toulouse incidents… (Yeah, I said it. Got a problem? Speak the fuck up).


Shortly after Purim, Judaism’s ancient costume festival, the masks came off in a frenzy in three completely unrelated incidents – and I’m not even talking about Israel’s calculated decision to throw a match on a dormant gas keg, throwing the lives of a million of its own people into disarray and giving the other side a free calibration test.

 

First came the ludicrous decision by Israel’s Olympic Committee to throw any shred of self-respect to the wind and not simply accept an ordinary corporate sponsorship, but to make a corporate logo the official Olympic mascot for Israel’s delegation to London 2012. Perhaps so short a time after Israel’s sucker population rose up last summer against “porcine capitalism” wasn’t the best of times to try that one…The collective snort of derision caused the powers that be to about-face in under 24 hours. Pity, tho. The logo in question: (A baby in a diaper with a forelock and a fresh mouth who represents the quintessential Israeli snack “bamba” [a peanut-flavored puff thingy]) is a perfect representation of Israel in its 64th year of sovereignty.

 

Like the logo, Israel is a rather infantile nation. Like the logo, it has a one-track mind (the bamba baby for bamba, Israel for its occupied territories and its trauma-ridden rationale for choking itself on them). Like the logo, Israel is crassly commercial, mercantile and mercenary. Finally, the choice of the bamba baby is a perfect illustration of so many of Israel’s cherished and misguided narratives. You see, although bamba is indeed an Israeliana-laden word, the sad fact of globalism is that Ossem, the long-time purveyor of said peanut-flavored mush, is no longer a plucky Israeli company. It is, rather, a small division of the Nestle Corporation – a firm which, incidentally, did not escape the 1930’s and 1940’s with an unblemished record. Nuff said? So all in all, a most apt capsule of Israel’s true current essence.

 

Then came the big story of the week. Haaretz’s crack reporter Gidi Weitz uncovered that the State of Israel is currently funding the “legacy” of former Minister and transfer-advocate Rehav’am “Gandhi” Ze’evi at twice the amount of a bunch of actual fathers of Zionism and founders of the state (Herzl, Jabotinski, Ben Gurion, and Begin) combined.

 

A bit of background on Ze’evi. First, to dispel confusion, he acquired the moniker after appearing one morning at the Palmach mess wrapped in a bed-sheet, and not due to any pacifistic convictions. He was a long-time military careerist, peaking at Central Command General, where he was known for keeping a pair of chained lions at the entrance to his HQ. Years later a famed actress would claim that as a young soldier she was sexually assaulted by an unnamed famous high-ranking officer, “who thought he could fondle the girls the way he did his lions”.

 

In 1981, shortly after a notorious gangland double murder, “Gandhi” was recorded speaking on the phone with Tuvia Oshri, one of the two men later convicted of the murders. He was asked “Can you come” and answered “If you need me I’m coming.”

 

On the other hand, he was a very well-read man who spoke fabulous Hebrew and did much for the study and disciplines of history and archaeology in Israel. Politically, he is chiefly known as the first and primary advocate of “transfer” (i.e. ethnic cleansing, although of course called for “in peaceful ways”) as a solution to Israel’s dreaded “demographic problem.” He ended up being shot to death by a senior member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, while staying at an East Jerusalem hotel AND blowing off his security detail.

 

In numbers, Gandhi’s legacy gets about 4.9 million ILS a year. Rabin, who was actually PM and was murdered and alla that, gets around 2 million, as does the iconic Likud PM of the 70’S and 80’s, Menachem Begin. The father of political Zionism Theodore Herzl and the father of the Israeli right-wing Ze’ev Jabotinski get 250K each. So these are the express preferences of Israel today, as written in the most indelible ink there is: cash.

 

The third mask-shedding event of the week is still categorized as unproven, despite the first-hand nature of the source. Hosni Mubarak, the deposed tyrant of Egypt, states flatly in his memoirs that he used to pay Israeli politician Binyamin “Fouad” Ben Eliezer a cool $25K/month retainer as an “advisor”.

 

Now it was never a secret that Fouad was a close personal friend of Mubarak’s and an undisguised friend and advocate of Egypt within the various Israeli governments in which he served as Trade, Infrastructure, and Defense Minister. It’s also not exactly news that the guy is not completely free of any rumors of improprieties, so to speak. Still, if this is true it does set a new mark in Israeli decay, I think.

 

Finally, while all this was happening, and while the world gives itself a good close fingernail check as Syrians are slaughtered by their supposedly anachronistic villain dictator, the Israeli occupation of Palestine (the West Bank part of it) continues in full and innovative swing.

 

First to the tried-and-true methods of thuggery. You know how the IDF like to invade homes in villages all over the West Bank at 1, 2, 3 in the morning, pull everyone (including babies) from bed for a lineup, take pictures and often arrest someone for a few hours of friendly interrogation? (if you don’t know about it, you should).

 

So this week on March 11, at 01:45, our brave, brave troops raid the dangerous terror nest of Nabi Saleh – a village that’s only any trouble because settlers stole their spring with active IDF aid – and hit the home of the nefarious mastermind Anan Naji al-Tamimi. 11.

 

The resolute Israeli DEFENSE forces took Anan, blindfolded him and bound his arms, and loaded him onto a jeep. They drove a bit out of the village and proceeded to interrogate him with some “mild violence” (slaps to the back of the head) about his involvement in the use of WMP (Weapons of Mass Petrification, dismissed by the enemies of Israel as mere rocks) in the weekly demonstrations against the theft of the spring at the village.

 

After this time they drove back, stopped about 1 km from the village, removed the blindfold but left Anan’s arms bound, and dropped him off, leaving him to negotiate the 15-minute walk with arms bound in pitch darkness. His wrists were swollen upon his return home.

 

An official response from IDF spokesman has yet to arrive. Unofficial back-channels have yielded this claim: You got the wrong name, he’s 15 and not 11 (plausible from the photo too btw), he was questioned for one hour and not two and was dropped off unbound 300 meters from the village rather than 3 times that far, and this only to avoid re-igniting the village.

 

So according to the IDF, if he was 15 it’s ok to roust him and all his family from bed at 2 in the morning and interrogate him with no guardian or legal counsel present out in the open and then drop him off somewhere other than the front door. Gotcha.

 

Here’s the thing: You do that to ME? To MY boy? Police, IDF, Navy fucking SEALS of the invisible New World Order? Rocks will be the least of your worries from my side. And that’s if the unofficial version is true. If the al-Tamimi version is true? And the IDF don’t lock up the guy that was in charge of it? For his own protection, like? I find him and use a 10 pound tin can to turn his face to mush. But don’t listen to me. Remember Gilad Shalit? Yeah, he’s doin’ it right. Travelling a lot. Getting laid I do hope. Anyway, his dad’s running for Knesset in the Labor party. He said that if he was a Palestinian, he’d be trying to capture soldiers too.

 

Oh, I promised an innovation. Those who survived the holocaust remember with dread the German use of dogs to instill terror in their prey. Those of them still struggling to make ends meet, in the state that uses their name and traumas daily but leaves them less than table scraps are no doubt smiling in the knowledge that their own country has finally learned from those canine-related lessons as well.

 

And on that woof-woof note, we will now return you to you locally scheduled bullshit, which I seriously hope is tame in comparison or you should be looking into relocation. This has been a visit to the precipice of demise, brought to you by The Weekend Holyland Update, in conjunction with Brown Acid Bad Trips Inc. This excursion didn’t cost you a dime, but there’s a collection plate button thingy, if you have a mind. Also, you can buy my book: Jewcy Story: How the Jews blew redemption the last time around.

 

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another excursion to the mad Middle East, where nothing – not even wide-spread housing protests – stands in the way of the continued theft of other people’s land. In this week’s installation we take you camping, have a little water fight with the powers that be, and do the creeping annexation jig. So put on your dancing shoes, here we go:

 

Last night Tel Aviv saw one of its largest protests in years. At least 30,000 people (I was there, I say around 50K) marched from the edge of Rothschild Boulevard to the Tel Aviv Museum Plaza to protest the insane housing prices. After the protest march, a few rowdy anarchist types stuck around and blocked one of the major intersections along the march route, resulting in a few dozen arrested, and most released this morning. The protesters played it smart and left a tent full of candy and chocolate outside Tel Aviv PD HQ, with signs “sorry for last night” and “We’ll continue to fight for you too”.

 

The interesting thing to watch was the newspaper coverage. Yediot and Haaretz were both pro-protesters, Maariv was more or less balanced, and Israel HaYom, the free newspaper founded by gambling billionaire Sheldon Adelson for the explicit purpose of promoting and defending PM Bibi Netanyahu, is simply trying, for nigh on two weeks now, to pretend that the protest isn’t happening, or isn’t as big a deal as it is. The paper devoted 5 full pages to the massacre in Norway, and less than a page to the uprising of the serfs here at home.

 

Bibi himself, regressing into his Munchausen’s disease, claimed this morning to have “foreseen the housing crisis years in advance”, and blamed it on the fact that the state controls 90% of the land and poses procedural impediments to construction of new housing. Of course, he promised a reform in Israel’s Land Authority, then let it melt away. Part of it was supposed to be included in a new Planning Committees Law, the final vote on which was just postponed today. So that’s how hard ole Bibi is pushing for this reform, the need for which he foresaw.

 

The tent encampment protest has spread in the past week from Tel Aviv all over the country. Even my sleepy semi-rural hometown of Pardes Hannah has one. The question is whether the energy will be sustained and channeled productively, or will it dissipate. The energy last night at the march (which I attended) was weird – but not necessarily in a bad way. Some have defined it as “not angry, just resolute”. We shall see.

 

In a related incident, protesters stormed the meeting of the Knesset’s Finance Committee (held at Kfar HaMacabbiah in Ramat Gan, rather than in Jerusalem) and threw water at the participants, in protest of the fact that the housing crisis was not on the committee’s agenda. Shoulda used something stronger than water, says I, but nobody ever listens to me. Armenia 1999, anyone? (Kidding. Violence, particularly indiscriminate violence, is very rarely the answer, if ever. However, the thought is savagely satisfying).

 

Another protest gaining steam is that of the MD interns, who are subject to insane hours and extremely pathetic pay (their base pay is around $1,500 a month). Their attempt to have themselves admitted as patients so as to get around a court order forbidding them from walking off the job was foiled, but they are still striking (the entire MD community has been on a court-modified strike for weeks now). After a couple of days of dithering, the housing protesters got wise and embraced the young docs.

 

Turning to the place where all the money lacking for affordable housing and decent wages for MD’s is poured down the drain, Israel’s stupid government is now renouncing the policy of ambiguity which has thus far sustained its occupation. The government passed a resolution tying government support for museums in “Judea and Samaria” with that of museums in Israel proper. Give this government enough time and they’ll give us all a one-state solution…

 

Meanwhile the Israel Occupation Force has been pursuing a policy of land theft using an Ottoman law, saying that any private land that isn’t being cultivated can be seized by the state – but they’re doing it only for the benefit of settlements for the master race. Apparently they are heeding the call of far-right MK Aryeh Eldad to “end the Muslim occupation of the Land of Israel”.

 

Approaching landing, this is how the IOF recruits deal with non-violent protests. It’s not really the fault of the recruits, but that of the state that brainwashes them and throws them into impossible situations.

 

Finally, the departing head of the Personnel Department of the IOF, General Avi Zamir, sounded the alarm at his farewell ceremony about the religious radicalization of the armed forces. Of course it is too late for that, as reports from “Operation Cast Lead”, in which soldiers were given sermons by rabbis exhorting them to “holy war” before battle, amply prove.

 

That’ll do it for this week. The Weekend Holyland Update is not responsible for any illusions, sympathies or misconceptions that may have been misplaced on our tours. Please collect your senses and check your comments where appropriate. Thank you for flying the crazy skies.

 

My book, “Jewcy Story”, a popular history of the 2nd Temple Era, can be bought for Amazon Kindle, for cell phone or for PC here.